Archive for the 'Movies' Category

Woman Claims She Was Natalie Portman’s Acting Double in Black Swan

Amidst claims that Natalie Portman only did about five percent of the actual dancing in Black Swan, another woman has stepped forward to make an even more inflammatory claim. Twenty nine year old actress Francine Hooky now says that she was Natalie’s acting double in the film. “The movie called for a lot of really emotional moments and Natalie just couldn’t make it look believable. So, they started looking for someone to act for her,”  said Hooky. “I mean, the parts when she’s not doing much, that was her. But when she had to cry and act crazy and stuff? That was all me. I’d say that about 85 percent of the movie was acted by me.” Despite her extensive work in the film, Hooky is only credited as “Girl in Restaurant”. “I’m not saying they should give me the Oscar or anything,” said Hooky. “But a little recognition would be nice.” So far there has been no word from Portman or director Darren Aronofsky.


Sam Raimi Eyes Madonna For Lead Role In Nosferatu Remake

Director Sam Raimi will soon begin filming a remake of the classic horror film Nosferatu, and we hear he knows exactly who he wants to star in the lead role. Says a source: “As soon as Sam learned he had the rights, he began contacting Madonna’s people. To him, no other vampire is as physically terrifying as Nosferatu, and no human on Earth is physically scarier than Madonna.” Says another source, “It’s perfect, and they’ll save a ton of money on makeup.” No word yet on whether or not Madonna has accepted the role, and when we tried to contact her at her London home we were told that she was taking her daily bath in the blood of virgins.

Optimus Prime: ‘Transformers 2’ has “Failed Humanity”

Michael Bay recently declared that his movie Transfomers 2 was “nothing but big-budget crap.”  Now, Optimus Prime, one of the movie’s stars has spoken out about the film.  With his noble head bowed low, Optimus said:  “Autobots, with this movie we have failed humanity.”

He went on to state, “Freedom from paying ten dollars for a horrible movie is the right of all sentient beings.”  However, Optimus did express hope for the future of the series.  “This franchise must not suffer the same fate as Cybertron, whole generations lost.”  And to all of those who suffered through the film, Optimus said: “Thank you, all of you.  You honor us with your bravery.”


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