Adele Offered Reality Show, Replies ‘No Thanks, I’m Actually Talented’

Singer Adele’s new album 21 is steadily climbing the US charts, but there are some people that think she could benefit from more exposure. Ryan Seacrest, the biggest little man in reality television, recently pitched the idea of a reality show to Adele and her management. We obtained a transcript of their conversation.

Ryan: Adele, baby, hi!

Adele: Hello.

Ryan: Love the new album. It’s fantastic!

Adele: Thank you. I worked really hard on it.

Ryan: But you know what you need? More fame. And you know how you can get it? Two words: reality television.

Adele: Oh, I don’t know.

Ryan: Get this. A recent poll found that Americans don’t acknowledge a person exists unless they’re on TV.

Adele: Is that true?

Ryan: Yeah, I read it on the Internet. Now listen. I can make you as famous as the Kardashians.

Adele: The who?

Ryan: Ha! You’re hilarious! Now, you’ll need a couple of things. Do you have a less attractive sister? A domineeting mother? How about another one with a douchebag boyfriend? How do feel about getting plastic surgery on TV? Ever considered butt implants?

Adele: Plastic surgery? What exactly do these Kardashians do?

Ryan: You know, they’re famous.

Adele: Are they actresses?

Ryan: They act like they’re real human beings. They’re pretty convincing too!

Adele: Singers?

Ryan: Well, Kim did record a single. The computer did most of the singing, but you could buy it on iTunes!

Adele: You know what Ryan, I think I’m going to go.

Ryan: What? But we could get you a sponsorship deal from a diet pill company! Or, we can arrange for you to date a professional athlete! Come on, everyone wants their own show!

Adele: No thanks, I think I’m going to pass. I’m actually talented.

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